Sunday, February 22, 2009

To all my sistas...

OK this has nothing to do with painting, but it really got my blood boiling so I wanted to post about it somewhere. I found myself at a party last night with some old college friends and some other random people I never met before. After a couple hours, we decided to go get a beer at the newly renovated Aidens in Bristol, RI.

As we were about to leave, my husband, me, a guy we went to college with, and a couple other people were standing in the kitchen talking about some random crap and for some reason I mentioned that I just bought 3 bars of handmade soap that were amazing. (I bought them from fellow etsy seller Bonghi Natura. The soaps smell amazing and they have great lather and I always try to buy handmade before I turn to mass produced crap.

So this guy, we we went to college with, turns to my husband and says "well there goes your hard earned money out the window."

OK seriously? I was almost speechless when I heard him say this...but I responded with "I EARN my own money. I bust my ass for every dollar I make and I'll spend it on whatever I choose, thank you very much."

This guy, who is my same age has the balls to say something like that. Are there people who really still think this way? Isn't this 2009? WTF?!?!? Not to mention the other people in the room have no idea that I was Valedictorian of our graduating class, or that I have always been bring in half the income of our house, and I'm the one who deals with the finances...I normally wouldn't care about hat people think, but in this topic I felt I had to make it known that i'll spend money on whatever the hell I want to because I EARN IT. I'm not out spending it on stupid golf shit, or crap I can't afford.

I feel like the problem lies in that he is rewarded for his macho over confident and sexist views as he gets promoted into higher ranks of his lame corporate company...and in turn, doesn't this just encourage the behavior?

Even if I wasn't making half of our income, and I was home taking care of the kids (if we had any) or keeping the house clean, or making sure he has clean underwear to go to his rat-race job everyday...that's not enough to justify the extra money to buy handmade soap?

This reason alone reminds me why I haven't hung out with this person in years, and why I am proud of all the women out there who are keeping this world running...whether or not they are earning money.


Lauren said...

Amen! Ugh, what a jerk. He'll get an STD and his junk will fall off. :)

Loveanewidea said...

I definitely hear you on this one. There are still so many old-fashioned notions about men and women still alive and well... and in the minds of BOTH men and women, especially in the workplace. I'm no longer surprised when I experience it, but, like you, attempt to challenge/change the concepts of one person at a time with each situation.

Julie Beck said...

OH i just thought of a good come back...i should have said "1920 just called for you, and they want their views about women back."

or even better if said in a condescending voice "Oh hey! Did someone not tell you? its 2009 and women control the majority of American households finances. Sorry...someone should have let you known that."

Bri said...

I so understand where you're coming from. I would have stolen his wallet and thrown it out the window and yelled "hey, there goes your money!"

>;) (evil twinkle in my eye)

Ronnie said...

Bri! You've got me cracking up here!
Grab the wallet and throw it out the window! Weeeee!
Yes, where does the jack ass work. We will find him with you Julie and PAY somebody to beat his you know what.

Happy Camper said...

Well, Julie, think about his attitude towards Tim in this situation. If buying some soap equals his salary (or is a significant portion), then he must think Tim doesn't make much money, thus questioning his ability to be the head of the family and putting him in a bad light. In other words: DISRESPECT.
Where I come from, that's enough of a reason to brake some bones.
But hey, yeah, the sexist approach is valid too ;)

beth said...

Julie-what a great post! I'm not surprised, actually, with his reaction. I think we still train men in our society to think that they have to be the breadwinners. They also thus tend to see women who work outside the home and earn money as a threat to their masculinity! He certainly is a putz, and exemplifies the continued resistance to female power and independence. Jerk!